Yesterday I found myself in the middle of an online “discussion” (more on that later) about Christina Aguilera’s weight.  Could anything be less important in this world right now?  The number of responses on this simple Facebook post was approaching 90 last I checked.  The photo that sparked the issue was this screen grab from the TV show “The Voice” where Christina performed with the contestants.

The original post said simply “I think she looked AMAZING!”  What followed was even more amazing.  One person (female) said something like “I think she looks kind of wide.”  The responses after that were absolutely entertaining.  The main gist of the female (and male) responses was that she looks good, but many of the woman angrily responded that she looks “real” and that society sets unrealistic standards and seeing her like this was refreshing.  I literally found myself laughing out loud as I read this.

The woman that gently used the word “wide” was rudely ripped by anpother female respondent.   Her response said “you’re 34 years old and look like you’re pushing 50. And the only thing you do is model bikinis. Sh.. we can all do that.”  Really?  Anyione can do that?  Now who is not being real?

Real?  What am I missing?  She has chemically fried and colored hair, she is coated in tons of makeup and enough self tanner to make a pumpkin jealous of her orange color.  Real?  She makes you proud because she is, as you call her in the trendy vernacular of the day “curvy”?  Her curves aren’t even real with those gigantic implants and that unique (and kinda cool) outfit that has that waist pinching belt-like contraption.  All of these things to help her look more “real” to you I guess.

Let me extremely clear.  I understand that fashion models and actresses in Hollywood can present an unrealistic ideal.   I also understand that this is not “society today”.  It has always been that way.  Are statues of David “realistic”?  Does the modern woman want more “real”?  Really?

Take off your makeup!  Do you even know your natural hair color?  How about the piercings and tattoos today?  Nail polish? Go outside looking real today ladies!  Those romance novels present such a realistic view of relationships right?  Just like those Nicolas Sparks movies and Twightlight series.  Yeah, right.  You want real.  You want real when it is convenient.

Before I get slammed too hard for this let me be clear.   I don’t think there is anything wrong with presenting the fantastic and unrealistic.  When I go to a movie I want to escape reality. If I wanted reality I would just step outside.  I am looking for fantasy and there is nothing wrong with that.

“What about eating disorders Rick?”  Hollywood and fashion magazines are not the cause of eating disorders.  There is a much deeper psychological problem going on within that person and that is what needs to be dealt with.  If a girl vomits herself to death it isn’t because Miley Cyrus went to Pilates every day and didn’t eat properly.  Eating disorders are horrific, but blaming Hollywood is an easy thing.  I don’t see too many guys at the sports bar running to the bathroom to throw up because of the chiseled athletes they see or because of the “ideals” that women love in Hollywood men and models  that are just as unrealistic.  The problem is a deeper issue.

The truth is that we don’t want realistic from our fantasies and Christina Aguilera is just that.  A fantasy (insert joke here).  I would even venture to say that men actually want realistic more than women do.  Men don’t want all that makeup.   Men love a truly real woman like Scarlett Johanssen and don’t see the boney fashion model on women’s magazines as what they want. Look at men’s magazines.  The women are not waifs!  Playboy doesn’t want it’s women to have a six pack.  Ladies?   Stop and think about the men you see in YOUR magazines?

Look at Christina Aguilera in 1999 on Access Hollywood

Now look at her in 2010 on Ellen

I think most guys can tell you what they want in a fantasy and what they want in reality.  Give me top 1999 Christina any day in reality (although that 2010 dress…errrr).

We are men.  We are pigs.  Even if we are gentlemen in how we act, inside we are pigs, right?  Yeah, but maybe not as much as women tend to think.  I think men want “real” more than women, but women complain about what society presents as real when it is inconvenient.  Ladies, it is your magazines that have the extremely thin fashion models adorning the covers. It is Your romance novels with the freak show men on the cover.  You want the Royal Wedding.  I didn’t see that on TV at the sports bar either.  I think they had on ESPN 12 with midget billiards and putt putt golf instead of the Royal Wedding.

You want reality?  Get real!  No you don’t.

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Before anyone thinks that I am being arrogant by saying that, please understand that this works both ways.  What do I have to offer the model in front of me?  This is a two way street.

There have been countless articles about shooting for free (tf*) and this is somewhat about the same subject.  Those articles are usually a model or photographer on some kind of self gratifying rant about how they are just so accomplished or have such a special gift that they should be paid.  I am not going to make blanket statements about shooting for free.  I just want to explore the entire idea that no one shoots for free.  Models and photographers that agree to shoot for no money are receiving some kind of compensation.  It may be creative, personal or financial, but there is some reason you choose to accept a shoot.

Before any shoot I ask myself the simple question “What am I shooting for?”.  (Yeah, I ended that with a preposition.  Deal with it grammar critics.) What is my end game?  I want a goal before I shoot.  I am usually shooting to please a paying client.  What I want or like in a photograph plays a distant second fiddle to what the client wants in that relationship.  The shoot is for them.  Making them happy is the goal right?  No!  Getting a check and getting the client to repeat as a customer is the goal.   Making them happy is usually a necessary thing in reaching the end goal.

So with individuals the end goal needs to be identified or you may very well end up wasting your time.  If you are a model why do you want to shoot with that photographer?  I see so many models just shooting with any and every photographer that they can.  Many photographers hate to hear this but, a model’s talent and a photographer’s talent are equal until skill and experience and talent are factored in.  Then either could be more valuable to the shoot.

If a model has a well developed portfolio why should she shoot with you, especially for free?  What does she have to gain?  Pretty pictures?  She has them already. If she has a particularly strong book, why does getting pretty pictures from you matter?

The same is true with girls (or guys) wanting to shoot with photographers.  What do you have to offer that makes it worth it to shoot?  You are pretty?  What if the photographer already has a book full of great models and great photos?  How is it worth it to shoot for free?

I am not saying that it never is worth it.  Trying new looks, or new equipment or having a mutual idea can make it worth shooting.  If you are dealing an accomplished photographer or model ask yourself why that person should shoot with you.  Before you get offended.  A “No” may not be an insult.  It may be that the model or photographer just feels that they have no answer to “After this shoot how will I be in a better position than I was before the shoot?”

Maybe you shoot for fun.  Great!  That is a fantastic reason to shoot.  It may be the best reason of all!  The truth is for a professional model or photographer a shoot is work.  Yes, they can enjoy their work, but it isn’t recreational good time so “fun” is not a good enough reason.

Wanting compensation is not a bad thing. Being fair with it is important. I know many photographers that get angry when models send out their rates.  I have no problem with it at all.  They have established what makes a shoot worth it to them.  Don’t be offended by a request for compensation by a model or photographer.  That is what they want to get out of the shoot.   If they choose to be compensated understand that you need to get what you are paying for.  If you pay then you are ultimately the boss.  If a photographer pays a model then the shoot is NOT for the model’s portfolio.  The model receives cash.  The photographer gets the shoot that they want ( for obvious reasons this needs to be clear in advance).  If a model pays the photographer then the model is boss.  Many times someone feels that they have reached a point where they should be compensated for shoots.  That is great!  Somehow that person’s ego seems to make them feel that they are the boss as well on many occasions.  If you get paid then get your ego out of the way.  The customer paid you for something.  Deliver it!  It isn’t about you any more.

I do have to chuckle at the occasional email I receive that goes something like this:
“Wow!  Your work is incredible!  I am blown away!  I would be so honored to work with you and I think it would really make a difference in my career.  Here are my rates…”.  If my work can help you in your pursuit of modeling than you need to offer me something of at least equal value….like….oh….say…cash maybe?  Don’t expect me to pay you to help you in your career.  In turn I will never expect the same thing.  I will never go to a more accomplished model and tell her how working with her would make a difference in my career and then quote her my rates.  That shows a complete selfish lack of respect and understanding.

Photographers, next time you want to shoot with a model ask yourself what you are going to get out of that shoot.  Why should you shoot that model?  What do  they have to offer that matters to you? Models, why do you want to shoot with that photographer?  Will they help you or is it just your love of the experience of shooting?  It is a fair question to ask.  “Why should I shoot with you?”. If you are a model or photographer ask yourself that when a shoot opportunity arises and you will great improve if you can answer it.  Don’t arrogantly ask the other party that question.   It isn’t a question to bolster your ego.  It is a question to bolster your talent and the quality of your work.

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Before we get into individual reasons, let’s talk about fairly universal truths.  Most photographers are voyeurs and most models are exhibitionists.  This is a fairly fundamental reality.  Photographers like to see and models like to be seen.  Anything to the contrary makes very little sense, but let’s break it down even further.

I have come to recognize that men that choose to photograph women fit into two categories: they either truly love and respect and admire women or they want to control them.

Some photographers are truly captivated by the beauty of women.  Yes, some let this love turn into perversion-run-amuck, but others just love the beauty in a pure and respectful way.  I was raised primarily by women.  My father died when I was less than two years old, and other than my grandfather (an amazing and wonderful man) I was raised by my mother and two sisters. I was blessed to have some wonderful women as examples in my life.  My grandfather set a high bar for how a man should treat, view and respect women. This has become second nature to me. It is pervasive in my daily life as a photographer and as a man.

I have met many photographers with a completely different underlying psyche.  They love to control women.  They have a true passion to be “the man”.  They want to control women and that power is where the real joy in shooting comes from for this photographer.  This does not mean that they are not a good shooter.  They may be excellent!  They love telling a woman what to wear, how to stand, what to do and having that woman listen and, in essence obey.  They gain a strange enjoyment from telling a woman that she needs to lose some weight or needs to change this or that about themselves.  This part of my job I have a complete hatred for, but it is necessary.  Some photographers feel a sense of pride in telling women this.  I just don’t get it.

I once met a photographer that had helped a lot of girls get some great photos.  One of his catch phrases was I turn zeros into heroes.”  I remember thinking “Wow.  You thought they were zeroes before you entered their life?”  There were some obvious Napoleonic issues with this photographer.  He hated any other photographer succeeding and had to try to knock down anyone else that had success.  He wanted control.  He had some sort of need to be “the man.”  We all love accolades.  It feels good to be rewarded and/or complimented. Some have a need to be praised or worshipped and are offended by anyone ever expressing anything less than adoration.  “You don’t like that photograph I took?  What do you know?!?  I am more successful than you!”

Make no mistake, women that model (and men too I suppose) use their looks to achieve an end.  Some use it as a tool to achieve success while others use it as a tool of manipulation, much like those photographers.

Most models that I have met, even though they are incredibly beautiful, lack self confidence.  Some lack confidence because they operate in a world where there are multitudes of beautiful women all being judged on their looks.  When trying to get work as a model you will be told “No” far more than you will be told “yes”.  That rejection is based on your look and that will more often than not leave you scarred. I think of it this way: imagine your whole life having everyone pander to you because you are good looking. Boys do your homework for you; buy your drinks, etc.  Studies show that you get better grades than less attractive kids for equal work.  You get by based on your looks.  This becomes your way.  All of a sudden you aren’t the “cutest girl in class”.  Now you are in a world with a lot of beautiful women and what you thought made you special and unique no longer is an advantage.  You are getting rejected based on the very thing that you had come to rely on.

I was working with a model in my studio one time and we started talking about how beautiful women live in a different world than others, including me, live in.  She did not think it was true.  I turned off the lights in the studio, and I asked her if she could convince me of her side of the story as easily now in complete darkness. I pointed out to her that this is what it like being on equal ground.  Her advantage was gone.  No more batting the eyes, or use of body language.  This is her future as her beauty evolves with age.

Some models recognize this early on and have the gravitas and ballast to weather these new rough waters while others crumble or become too difficult to deal with.

Underlying everything in this journey as a photographer or model is the real you.  I suggest that you ask yourself the hard questions in a quiet moment.  “Why do I do this…really?”  Find your answer.  Grow from it and become better in your career and as a person.  We all have faults. Don’t be afraid to truly face yours.  You will be better for it.

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What is qi?  In Chinese
philosophy there two types of qi – Living Qi and Killing Qi.  The Chinese believe that everything has an equal
opposite, and this keeps things in balance.  For every yin there is a yang.  Think of it in terms of a magnet.  Every permanent magnet has both a positive and
a negative side or opposing poles.  Where
there is a north pole there must be a south pole.  If a magnet has a North Pole side and a South
Pole side what happens if you slice the magnet in half?  Do you get one half that is a North Pole
magnet and one South?  No.  You now have two magnets with both north and
south poles.

The Chinese described a place with a lot of Living Qi would be a place
with a much fauna and a place void of life has a great deal of Killing Qi.

As a photographer you have your own individual photographic qi.  There is a natural area that you are drawn to
shooting where your truest and purest of talents can grow.  It may be glamour, fashion, nature, athletics,
or absolutely anything.  It is not just
what may be initially fun.  Look deeper.  Somewhere inside there is a particular area
within you where an almost spiritual sense of rightness lies when you are shooting.  The true measure is not the question “Is
this the most fun to shoot?”  The
truest judge is the question “Is this where the purest creative energy in me
flows?”

The reality is that making a living has very little to do with qi many
times. I am often referred to as a glamour photographer because of success with
so many swimwear catalogs or calendars or with my images of Brittany Lee and
Maxim.  Shooting glamour is fine with me,
but standing in Joshua Tree National Park I know I am where everything in me
belongs. When I am there I experience some kind of “rightness” with
things.  It is as impossible to explain
as the color orange is to a person blind since birth.  It is where the creative center of me resides.

I shoot glamour well.  I enjoy
fashion and beauty images even more.  Shooting
“pretty” has always been something I have found pleasure in and I
have been able to make a good living doing it.  Photographing models in dresses and gowns in
beautiful locations or any shots showing a clean beauty make me happy. Still there
is an intangible something triggered inside when I am in Joshua Tree National
Park or in some areas of Death Valley.  It
is where my qi truly lies.  My creative
waters run deepest in that dry and desolate environment.  For me the colors are more vivid there and the
smells and sounds pull me like a magnet.

Where does your qi lie?  If you
don’t know then I suggest that you take a journey within you to find it. Clear
the daily clutter in your mind when possible and explore different areas of
photography and challenge yourself to stop thinking and start feeling something
deep inside while you shoot.

I believe that since everything has an opposite to create balance
within every photographer there must also be a killing qi.  There is something that sucks the creative
life from you and leaves you spiritually and creatively desolate. There is a
certain something photographically that destroys that positive energy you find
in your creative center and has a devastating effect. Something inside you seemingly
dies when you shoot this.  Avoiding that
is as important as experiencing your own Living Qi.

Many glamour and fashion shooters get confused that the feeling they
may be feeling in their trousers is some sort of spiritual tickle saying “This
is where your qi lies.”  Perhaps
glamour or fashion are your purest life calling. In that case it won’t be your
blue jeans that are tugging at you to keep shooting.

Life is full of noise, both audible and visual. This static can kill
that little voice inside. That voice does not necessarily loudly call to you.  It may not be screaming at you that you simply
must shoot what ever it is. It is simply there in the moment. You will be able
to feel that energy.

It is a rewarding thing to find your creative center.  Qi is as wonderful in life as well as on a
Scrabble board.

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These two objects may seem to be very closely related, but they so radically different in their function. It is important to understand that you are one of the two. Everyone is.

The function of a thermometer is to gauge the temperature in a room. As the temperature goes up or down the thermometer reflects that. It accurately displays the atmosphere around it.

A thermostat sets the temperature in a room. This is the device that sets the atmosphere.

Which are you?

As a photographer you will run into all kinds of situations where melodrama and emotion can run rampant and destroy the shoot environment. The question is whether or not your actions and mindset reflect the chaos or control it. Do you set the tone or are you an accurate gauge of it?

Being a thermostat has its responsibilities. You may be the actual cause of the chaos. If you are melodramatic or unprofessional you can drag the thermometers along with you. They will reflect the mood that you set. When things get crazy ask yourself why. Are you the cause or the solution? Are you a part of the chaos or a part of setting a new and more productive tone?

During one of the TV series that I produced one of the cast members was causing all kinds of trouble from the start. She was always ready to bring new drama and trouble to the set. She constantly complained about small problems that she could easily overcome and manage. On one occasion she showed up in the makeup room and the makeup artists were running a little behind. She turned a minor issue into an explosion. All she needed to do was wait a few minutes for her turn. Instead he turn her minor inconvenience into a mess where she was more interested in placing blame and exposing the fact that things were running a little behind than working things out. She was setting the tone. She was being a thermostat. She was making the atmosphere too hot. A few others immediately jumped into the fray and reflected the temperature in the room until someone stepped in and cooled the situation down.
There are four possibilities with the option of being a thermostat or thermometer – two as a thermostat and two more options as a thermometer.

Thermometer
• Reflect a negative atmosphere
• Reflect a positive atmosphere

Thermostat
• Set a negative atmosphere
• Set a positive atmosphere

It is a fantastic thing to be a thermometer in a positive atmosphere. As you reflect that positivity the room temperature stays positive. You have no effect on the room, but you are a part of the positive environment. Being a thermometer in a positive atmosphere is not a bad thing at all. The negative flip side is pretty obvious.

Thermostats set the tone. It is fine to not always be actively setting the temperature though. When the temperature is right a thermostat does nothing. If the environment starts to change it kicks on and regulates the environment. It is there waiting to kick into action when needed.

An honest self assessment may not be comfortable. Think about the environment where you spend most of your time operating. Is it full of drama? Is it chaotic? If so then you are not setting a better tone. So many times I hear people that say “I hate drama, but it surrounds me.” Does it really? What is the single constant in all of those situations? You. It is somewhat funny how people will melodramatically express that they hate drama or angrily speak of a negative relationship. Set the tone.

What if you have two thermostats in one room? If they do not work together they will battle each other until they wear out and break. What happens to a broken thermostat? It is replaced. It is best to try to work in conjunction with other leaders in a situation. Try cooperating and if that won’t work understand that the situation may be beyond control. If you try to control an uncontrollable environment you will wear yourself out for no gain. It is best to remove yourself from some situations all together.

Keep in mind that “it’s not my fault” and “it was out of my control” are the battle cries of the melodramatic. If those words are exiting your lips often you are not a thermostat. You are a thermometer.

As a photographer it is your job to control your set. It is your responsibility to keep things under control on your set. If you aren’t the thermostat you are at the mercies of too many outside influences. Those on your shoot need to understand that you are ultimately responsible for a successful outcome. Set the tone before the day of the shoot. Let everyone know what the temperature will be in the room and that you won’t be working in an environment that isn’t positive. You won’t regret it. Set a positive but professional tone and your final images will reflect the environment that you set.

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I was around 12 years old when my sister invited me to tag along while her boyfriend shot pictures of a sunset at one of the many lakes in Orlando. I went along and was wide eyed at the whole experience. He set up his camera on a tripod and let me look through the view finder. I remember being surprised at how cool things looked through the camera. He was shooting slides. I just couldn’t understand why anyone would do that. Pictures are easy to get and they are bigger!

Several days after the fascinating experience something happened that I think altered the course of my life. I didn’t know it at the time, but as I look back I can clearly see it. He showed me the slides and I was blown away by how the shots were so much more beautiful than the actual scene was that day. Then my sister’s boyfriend made a decision that seemed like nothing to him I am sure, but it meant so much to me. He gave me a slide of the sunset.

I can’t explain it, but I felt like I had something very valuable in my hand. I use to look at it in fascination. How could a moment in time be on this little square in my hand? How could that work? This exact moment will never happen again, but I have it in my hand. It was like I could see into the past. I don’t know why photographs printed on paper never had this same impact on me. Maybe because they were snapshots, but this was more. There was magic in this little square. I held something powerful. I held time.

Tick tock tick tock. You will never get that time back. Time truly is the most valuable resource that you have. Money and physical wealth can be replenished, but time is gone forever. Tick tock tick tock.

A woman will never be as young as she is now. As a photographer you hold that immortality in your hand. She will always be young in the image you just shot. Come back in 10 or 20 years and meet her again. She will have more experience and more years behind her. She will have a different kind of beauty, just as beautiful, but different. Now look at that image that you shot. There it is – unchanged. There SHE is – unchanged. She will be that way for as long as that film, or as long as those pixels exist. She is forever young.

Photography is something to love, but somewhere inside hold a place for a certain reverence for it. In some ways it is one of the most god-like things that a human can do, perhaps second only to creating a new life. There is nothing more powerful than that, but you do have the ability to stop time. You can make a perfect moment last forever and you have the ability to offer someone a tiny piece of immortality with a simple click of the shutter.

Shooting is getting easier and easier with the advent of digital photography and photographers get lazier and lazier as a result. Please challenge yourself to capture images worthy of the immortality you hold in your hand. That little noise that your camera makes seems insignificant, but it is a piece of eternity happening in your hand.

Tick tock tick tock. Click.

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